Goodbye Dear Mom

In Memory of Doris Posten (Mom)
Feb. 20,1926-Nov.23,2006

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Please, God, forgive a silent tear,
A fervent wish our Mom was here,
There are others, yes we know,
But she was ours, we loved her so,
Dear God, take a message,
To our mother in heaven above,
Tell her how much we miss her,
And give her all our love.

Happy Turkey Day!

Black November / A Turkey's Lament:

 When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
 My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,

 Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
 And he told me there was something that I had to know;

 His look and his tone I will always remember,
 When he told me of the horrors of ..... Black November;

 "Come about August, now listen to me,
 Each day you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
 And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.

 "And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
 In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;

 "Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald'n pink,
 And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink,

 "And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,
 "She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing".

 Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
 I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,

 And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
 I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;

 I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
 High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola,

 And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
 I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes,

 I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
 And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;

 But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
 As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

 And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
 I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;

 So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
 I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap,

 She held me today, while sewing and humming,
 And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming........"
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Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.

Author unknown.
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Keep Smiling!
-Doug-

In the pasture of life, don't be a cowpie.

Trying To Do The Job Alone:





Dear Sir,


I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number 3 of the accident reporting form, I put "trying to do the job alone" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details will be sufficient:


I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.


Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the brick into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tight to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note, in block number 11 of the accident reporting form, that I weigh 135 pounds.


Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.


In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.


At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom broke out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately fifty pounds.


I refer you again to my weight in the accident reporting form, block number 11.
As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounted for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations on my legs and lower body.


The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks, and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel six stories above me...I again lost my presence of mind...and let go of the rope!
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Smile!
-DP-