HAPPY THANKSGIVING !

Thanksgiving


 Black November: A Turkey's Lament

 When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
 My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,

 Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
 And he told me there was something that I had to know;

 His look and his tone I will always remember,
 When he told me of the horrors of ..... Black November;

 "Come about August, now listen to me,
 Each day you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
 And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.

 "And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
 In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;

 "Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald'n pink,
 And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink,

 "And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,
 "She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing".

 Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
 I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,

 And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
 I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;

 I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
 High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola,

 And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
 I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes,

 I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
 And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;

 But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
 As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

 And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
 I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;

 So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
 I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap,

 She held me today, while sewing and humming,
 And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming........"
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At Home :

Good goodly a-moe !
I can't believe I ate sooooo much ! That was a two notcher dinner.. ... ( meaning I had to adjust my belt 2 notches after dinner ) ;)
We had only a few folks over for Thanksgiving dinner this year but I think we prepaired enough food for a small army. ... and we put a large dent in the whole thing. This year we had Jeanie, Dennis, Ted , Becky, Tracy, B and me. It's still early, so if you read this soon, come help us finish off the rest.
I think we all should take time today to reflect upon all we are thankful for. I'm thankful for all the people in my life. ... Bobbie, the most wonderful wife in the world, Tiffany, who I never see and rarely even hear from (hint, hint), mom, all my brothers and sisters and their kids and their kid's kids, Sunshine (Federica), LittleBabyGirl (Nacha), Tracy (ChickenLittle) and some really good friends. I'm thankful for having a good job. .... And let's not forget all the men and women in the military who are away from their families during these holidays, protecting our freedom and way of life. I'm thankful for these things and so much more. .. including the fact I'm not a turkey ! :)
Anywho, want to wish all ya'll a Happy Thanksgiving ! Come see us !!!

Keep Smiling !
-Doug-

Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?

Cow Puzzle:

This Is Totally Amazing.
Say the word COW before each word.
1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look

Now say the word COW After each word
1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look

Now say the word COW before AND after each word.
1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look

Now read just the words upwards from the bottom.
1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4- Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look
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Breast Stroke

A blonde woman competed with a brunette woman and a redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke
division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead
second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted.After being revived
with blankets and coffee she remarked, "I don't want to call anybody a cheater, but I think I saw those other two girls use their arms.
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At Home:

Hi ya'll ! B & I, Tracy too, are doing well. ... hope you are as well. We took a much needed long weekend and spent some time at the lake. Did some yardwork, burnt some leaves and got in a little fishing. We burned a HUGE pile of leaves at night and attempted to toast some marshmellows. ( note to self. ..... next time get much longer sticks. ) The leaf pile was about . ... oh, I'd say it was in the neighborhood of 6 ft, tall and maybe 12-14 ft. in dia. That's a pretty hot neighborhood. Right after we lit the thing, one of my friendly neighbors decided to take it on his-self to advise me that we were going to catch the trees on fire. Well, as I stood there with my clothes smoking, I decided his advise was about as welcome as a hair in a biscuit. Either bring a bucket of water or keep your opinions to yourself. The fire department probably needed the practice anyhow. ;)

Tracy is doing gooder in school than most of the amerrikin kids. :) She's a lot of fun to have in the house, always smiling and laughing. ... and cuter than a sack full of puppies. If you're among the few who haven't met Tracy, you should drop by and say " Howdy! "

Bobbie is doing well also. She has a new kitten, Sofie, who is a handfull but B is loving it. B would have made a great mother cat. :) B is spoiling that cat rotten. So now the pecking order here has changed. ... B comes home a kisses Brandy then Haley ( 2 dogs ), then Misha ( cat ), then Sophie ( kitten ). ... and then me. I wouldn't mind it so much if it wasn't for the fur lip and the fact that I saw what the animals were licking before the kissing began ;)

Me ? I'm alright, I recon. ... though I do seem to stay in the dog house more than Brandy and Haley do. ( note to self. .... if you ever again 'accidently' slam the storm door on wife, don't laugh when she gives you 'go to h-e-double hockey sticks' look. ) Other than that, If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.

Ya'll come see us ! Till next time. ...
KEEP SMILING !
-Doug-
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I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex
- Jack Handey Deep Thoughts-

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

+-------------- Bizarre Holidays in November --------------+  
  
November 1 is Plan Your Epitaph Day  

November 6 is Saxophone Day and Marooned Without A Compass  
Day  

November 10 is Forget-Me-Not Day  

November 12 is National Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies  
Day  

November 15 is National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day  

November 19 is Have A Bad Day Day  

November 22 is Start Your Own Country Day  

November 26 is Shopping Reminder Day  

November 28 is Make Your Own Head Day  

November 30 is Stay At Home Because You're Well Day 
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Another Dumb Blonde Joke:


A blonde dies her hair because she is tired of being called dumb.

The next day, she meets a farmer with some sheep., "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?" she asks.

The farmer agrees.

The blonde takes a quick glance, then says, "You have 158 sheep, mister."

To the farmer's amazement, the woman is right, so he hands over one of the sheep. Then, as she walks away, the farmer asks, "If I can guess what color hair your hair really is, can I have my sheep back?"

The woman agrees.

"You're a blonde... now give me back my dog."
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KEEP SMILING !
-Doug-
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I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
- Jack Handy Deep Thoughts