A special Treat

Pearl Gates:

A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed.

For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No? St. Peter told him that's bad.

Was he generous? give money to the poor? Charities? No? St. Peter told him that that too was bad.

Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbor? Anything? No? St. Peter was becoming concerned.

Exasperated, Peter says, "Look, everybody does something nice sometime. Work with me, I'm trying to help. Now think!"

The man says, "There was this old lady. I came out of a store and found her surrounded by a dozen Hell's Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving her around, taunting and abusing her.

I got so mad I threw my bags down, fought through the crowd, and got her purse back. I then helped her to her feet. I then went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean he was and then spat in his face".

"Wow", said Peter, "That's impressive. When did this happen"?

"Oh, about 10 minutes ago", replied the man. :)
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At Home:

I got a very special treat yesterday. .... I found Nacha on-line and she used her webcam and mic so I could see her in Thailand. However, it seems that my webcam has taken a trip into the unknown. I think it might have sprouted legs and walked out of the house as I can't find it anywhere. Anyhow, I got to see Nacha but she couldn't see me. It was sooooo wonderful to see her and hear her voice ! She's growing up so fast! She will be doing a 2 month internship in Bangkok and then she'll only have 1 year left in school. It seem like she was just here as an exchange student. I Love You Nacha!

I'm working 2nd shift this week. It's okay, I guess. At least I'm getting more sleep.

I had to take Nicki to the vet today. He has a nasty abcess behind his ear. I was glad it was just an abcess, I had thought it might be a tumor. It was yucky as heck watching the doc clean it up but Nicki should be okay now.

I guess we'll fight the race traffic and head for the lake in the morning. Hopefully we'll have some good weather, do a bit of boat riding. ... perhaps even get in some fishing.

Tiff is in Las Vegas this week. I hope she is having a good time. Lucky devil. I wish I could talk Bobbie into a trip to Sin City but I don't that'll happen. ... (hint,hint) ;)

Nothing to report with the 'new and improved' thumb. It's just there, not really improving but not doing worse so, I guess I should be happy. ... and I am. I'll be happier when I can use it a bit more, like being able to thumb my bait casting reels but I know I'll just have to be patient. :)
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Anecdote:

Washington, George (1732-99) US general and statesman, first president of the United States.


Early in the Revolutionary War, Washington sent one of his officers to requistion horses from the local landowners. Calling at an old country mansion, the officer was received by the elderly mistress of the house. " Madam, I have come to claim your horses in the name of the government," he began. " On whose orders? " demanded the woman sternly. " On the orders of General George Washington, commander in chief of the American army, " replied the officer. The old lady smiled. " You go back and tell General George Washington that his mother says that he cannot have her horses, " she said.
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Fini:

Well I hope all ya'll are doing well. Give us a call, write or drop in to see us. Until next time. ...
KEEP SMILING !
-Doug-

long Time, No Post

Hole-In-One

Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and
hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water
trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green.

Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the
fairway and lands in the water trap.

Jesus just walks on the water and chips the ball onto the green. The old
man steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the
fairway and heads for the water trap. But, just before it falls into the
water, a fish jumps up and grabs the ball in its mouth. As the fish is
falling back down into the water, an eagle swoops down and
grabs the fish in its claws. The eagle flies over the green where a
lightning bolt shoots from the sky and barely misses it. Startled, the
eagle drops the fish. When the fish hits the ground, the ball pops out of
its mouth and rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one.
 
Jesus then turns to the old man and says, "Dad, if you don't stop fooling
around, we won't bring you next time."
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At Home:

Hi Ya'll !

It's been a while.... I'm getting somewhat lazy,huh? I'll try to post more often in the next weeks.
I'll have more time in the next couple weeks because I'll be working 2nd shift. .... AUUGHHH! I've been either working day shift or off work for the past 6 months,so, I guess I'm kind of spoiled... it's going to be weird working evenings again but at least I'll catch up on my sleep. ;)

Whats been going on ? ... lets see..... well, B and I have been spending weekends at the lake. This last weekend, the weather was terriffic! Ya'll should all come up and see us there soon.

The ol' thumb is still coming along ... I'm trying to use it more often now. It looks sort of like a turtle's head. :)

Crap! I'm outta time here.... I've gotta get to bed... Check back in a few days and I'll try to do a much better post.

Oh! ... and take a quick peek at the bottom of this page..... you'll find a counter. Whoever is the 1000th visitor, make a comment or send me an e-mail. I'd just like to know who you are, 'k ?

KEEP SMILING!
-Doug-

Just Wanted To Say "Hi"

- Bizarre Things People Have Said-
  
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all  
over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be  
skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and  
stuff."  
--Mariah Carey  

"Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very import-  
ant part of your life."  
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson  
for federal anti-smoking campaign.  

"I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my  
body."  
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.  

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest  
crime rates in the country."  
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.  

"The word genius isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a  
guy like Norman Einstein."  
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.  

"We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude  
certain types of people."  
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.  

"Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from over-  
seas.  
--Keppel Enderbery  

"It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the  
impurities in our air and water that are doing it."  
--Al Gore, Vice President  

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at  
night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart  
throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake  
up dead, there’ll be a record."  
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman.  
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At Home:

Well, it's been a while since my last post. I've been working 12 hours a day this week, 7AM-7PM, so I don't have much time... I need to hit the sack and get some sleep.
I just wanted to take a second to say "Hi" and let ya'll know I'm still around. ;)
I'll try to do a better post soon...... until then:
KEEP SMILING!
-Doug-

Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It's Back To Work I Go !.... Oh No!!!

Ocean Of Beer:

Two men were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp.

Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, one did come forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that she could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"

Immediately the Genie clapped her hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished to her freedom.

Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. The other man looked disgustedly at the one whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke:

"Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."
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At Home:

Yes, my time of fun is over.... I return back to ACIPCO on Monday. These last 2 months have been nice but I did ask to return to work. I still can't use my thumb but I felt it was time to remind folks that I did still have a job. ;)
Speaking of which.... the doctor informed me this week that he didn't know how long it might take for the bone to knit. It seems that he has never actually done this type of implant before, using a 'dead' donor bone instead of a 'live' bone from me. Seems like this was something he might should have mentioned before.... but not to worry, it should still work, eventually. :)
We spent last Friday and Saturday at the lake. I got the boat ready but didn't have time to put it in the water.Had some friends come up, did a little fishing and out for grub. Nice.
Easter went well. No kids to hide eggs from but I did make Bobbie and Tiff baskets. This year I used hat boxes for baskets.
Tiff started a new job. Good Luck! I hope she really enjoys it.
Sadly, Bobbie had an Aunt pass away this morning. I guess we'll be driving up to Florence either Saturday or Sunday for the service. Rest in peace, Aunt Christine.

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Anecdote:

Borge, Victor (1909- ) U.S. comedian and pianist, born in Denmark

Explaining why the keys of his paino were so yellow, Borge insisted that it was not that the paino was so old, but because " the elephant smoked too much." :)

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Fini :

I guess that'll be it for now. I hope ya'll are all doing great! Stay in touch! Until next we speak.....
KEEP SMILING!
-Doug-