I've come to realise I've been built backwards...My nose runs and my feet smell.

The Seven Dwarfs Meet The Pope

The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are "The Seven Dwarfs" they get ushered into see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack.

"Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "What can I do for you?"

Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background a few of the dwarfs begin giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them. Dopey turns back to face the Pope.

"Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"

The Pope, puzzled again, thinks for a moment and then answers, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in all of Europe."

This time all the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them all with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back to the Pope and says, "Mr. Pope, are there ANY dwarf nuns in the whole world?"

The Pope answers, "I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling, and laughing, pounding on the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting: "Dopey screwed a penguin! Dopey screwed a penguin!" :)
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At Home:

Okay. ... I have a huge gripe. It seems some geek has come up with a program that spams the 'comment' feature on blogs. Wonderful! Just what the world needs. This duffus couldn't find a real goal in life to use the talent he's learned. He's probably the type of person who sits around picking his nose with one hand and his butt with the other. ... and then swaps. I'd like to get my hands on this skid-mark and pull his pubic hairs out by the roots one by one, backward. ;)

Alright, enough complaining. (For now) :)

Tommorrow will be my last 2nd shift for a while. ... perhaps forever (?). ... yeah, I believe that. Got any good swamp land for sale ? Anyhow, it'll be my last for a while. We'll just see how long it lasts. I do look forward to being on straight days for a while. I can spend more time with Bobbie and Tracy, do more fishing, catch up with friends, pick my nose and bu. .. oops! . ... that lil' tidbit just slipped out, don't tell anyone! ;)

Nothing really 'new' since my last post. . mainly, I just wanted to b*t*h about that gay geek who wrote such a wonderful and
important program to spam all of us who enjoy posting our views and news for family, friends and whoever might drop in.

Okie-doke. ... way past bedtime !

'Real' comments welcome.

Until Next time. ...
KEEP SMILING!
-Doug-
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If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
- Jack Handy Deep Thoughts

If quizes are quizical, what are tests?

What should they say?


Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven to an orientation.

They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, "Look! He's moving!" ;)
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At Home:

Well, things have been going well around here. Tracy is here now. She is a very nice girl but a bit too quite. I hope she enjoys her stay in America. We took her to the lake this last weekend. She seemed to enjoy that. She got to do some boat riding and swimming. She said it was her first time on a boat. Next time we go up, I'm going to teach her to drive the boat. We expected some guests to join us at the lake but they were a no-show. (?) You know who you are.

Because I've been working 2nd shift these last 2 weeks, I really haven't had much time to spend around Tracy. ... she's still a little timid around me but that'll change soon.

Good news. ... starting next week, they are changing our work hours back to what they were. (7:00 am- 3:00 pm ) Yea !!!!! I was getting sick of getting out of bed at 3:45 in the morning! Also, I'm supposed to start working straight day shift. Double Yea !!! :)
Bad news. ... Starting next week, I'm being transferred to the other mold shop. Yuck & GRRRRR!!!!! Working in dirty and hot conditions. .... with old equipment.

Geeezzzzz, I wish this heat spell would break ! It's been sooooo hot, I've been sweating like a whore at church! After I get off work, I smell like the south end of a north bound mule. ;)

Well. ... I'm outta time. Gotta go to work now.

Ya'll come by and meet Tracy. Give us a call, drop an e-mail. .. keep in touch!

Until next time. ...
Keep Smiling !!
-Doug-
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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
- Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIFFANY !!!!!!!

(Tiff's b'day is Friday the 19th. I probably won't be around a computer then, so I want to wish her happiness today.)
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Tiffany, I hope this year will be the very best year you have ever had. May God bless you with all your heart's desires !. ... well, almost all anyhow. ;)

Aug.19th ranks right up there with Christmas!

Happy Birthday Baby Girl !!!!!

I Love You !
Dad
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Other people born on this date :

Bernard Baruch 1870
Orville Wright 1871
Coco Chanel 1883
Alfred Lunt 1892
Ogden Nash 1902
James Cozzens 1903
Claude Dauphin 1903
Philo Taylor Farnsworth 1906
June Collyer 1907
Ring Lardner Jr. 1915
George Rowles 1918
Malcolm Forbes 1919
Gene Roddenberry 1921
L.Q. Jones 1927
Willie Shoemaker 1931
Debra Paget 1933
Bobby Richardson 1935
Diana Muldaur 1938
Ginger Baker (Cream, Blind Faith) 1939
Johnny Nash 1940
Jill St. John 1940
Billy J. Kramer (The Dakotas) 1943
Eddy Raven 1944
Ian Gillan (Deep Purple) 1945
Bill (William Jefferson) Clinton (U.S.) 1946
Tipper Gore 1948
Gerald McRaney 1948
John Deacon (Queen) 1951
Jonathan Frakes 1952
Mary Matalin 1953
Peter Gallagher 1955
Adam Arkin 1956
Gary Chapman 1957
Martin Donovan 1957
Ron Darling 1960
Eric Lutes 1962
John Stamos 1963
Kevin Dillon 1965
Kyra Sedgwick 1965
Lee Ann Womack 1966
Tabitha Soren 1967
Mark McGuinn 1968
Clay Walker 1969
Matthew Perry 1969
Fat Joe 1970
M.C. Eric (Technotronic) 1970
Mary Joe Fernandez 1971
Erika Christiansen 1982
J. Evan Bonifant 1985
Lil' Romeo 1989

The Latest Survey shows that 3 Out of 4 people Make up 75% Of the World's Population

BOOTS!


Did you hear about the Texas Teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help and she could see why.

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."

She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on - this time on the right feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. And, once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner they got the boots off and he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em."

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said,

"I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

Her trial starts next month.
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At Home:

Well, it's been a while since my last post. Let's see. ....

Tiff is in Vegas, She'll be back late Friday night. Friday is her b'day, so I'll have to try to give her a call. With a little luck, maybe we can get her up to the lake this weekend.(?). ... She came over a couple times last week. I had the pleasure of meeting one of her friends. ... who happened to have had a b'day of his own recently. So, Happy Birthday to John! :)

Bobbie and I now have our newest addition to our family. ... Tracey . ... Tracey is an exchange student from Hong Kong. Welcome !! We really hope you enjoy your time here with us. She seems to be a really sweet girl and we're looking forward to getting to know her. She's a very quiet person, I'll have to see what I can do to change that. ;)

I think I may have to take a vacation day soon ... . .. perhaps this coming Friday ??? hmmmm. .. thinking seriously about it anyway. Try to get in a little fishing. :)

B and me are doing well. I guess that's about all anyone can ask.

I'm happy to say I'm working 2nd shift this and next week. I was getting very cranky having to get up before 4:00 a.m. these last 2 weeks.

Okay. .. that's about it for now. I'll try to do a new post sooner next time. Ya'll come by and meet Tracey when you get a chance.

Until next time . ..
Keep Smiling !!
-Doug-

I've Seen Better looking Heads on Iodine Bottles.

The 20 Year Old Headache

There was a man who had had a headache for twenty years and was at the point where he wanted to end his own life, but he decided to go to a specialist first.

No doctor could solve his problem, until finally one of them said "You have a very rare problem, your testicles are pressed up against your spine causing your headache. The only way to remedy it is to remove your testicles."

The man hesitantly agrees and gets them removed.

On his way home he walks past a taylor shop with a sign saying "ALL SUITS HALF PRICE"

Being in need of a new suit he walks in where a man greets him and says "Hello Sir I see you want a suit, I would say that you are a 34 sleeve and a 24 pant."

"Wow! How did you know that?" said the man.

"Why Sir I've been in this business for 40 years. Would you like shoes to go with that?"

"Sure" says the man. "Okay I'd say that you're a size 10 wide."

"Ok, now you're freaking me out...Thats a great talent" says the man.

"Thanks" replied the shopkeeper, "Now how about some undergarments?"

"Ok see if you can guess my size", said the man.

"Easy 36" said the shopkeeper.

"Nope 34" replied the man.

To which the shopkeeper exclaimed "Impossible a size 34 would skwish your testicles against your spine and you'd get a headache".
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At Home:

Well, I should take a moment to say Happy B'day to a few folks. ....
Federica celebrated her 22nd b'day on July 29th
Jennifer AKA "Lil'C had her 21st on ,I think, the 23rd (?). ... is that right?
Jen's b/f, Chris, celebrated his 21st on Aug. 6th
. ... and last but not least. ... Nachayada had her. ...hmmmm . .. 20th(?) b'day on Aug.3rd.
Tiff has one coming up but I'll save that for next time. ;)
Happy Birthday all ya'll !

Friday evening B and I had a nice time visiting with Lil'C and Chris. We went to Rubertino's for some good Italian food and then came back home, talked and watched a movie. It was a very enjoyable evening.

Saturday was a bit eventful but not in a good way. I still have a sore noggin. You'll have to read B's blog for details. (My Better Half)

Let's see. .. I'm still working these stupid hours (5:00 am-1:00 pm). Christ on a crutch! I'll be glad when this week is over, then, I can go back to 2nd shift. (Which isn't too much better.) Of course, I don't think I'll have to work tomorrow because of Saturday's silliness. I'll have to wait until the ACIPCO Med center opens tomorrow so a company doc can give me a release. Fun city. If it dosen't take too long at ACIPCO, Dennis and I just might go fishing tomorrow afternoon. :)

Well, we have one more week and then our newest student will arrive from Hong Kong. We haven't had much contact with her so far, so we don't really know what to expect. let's just hope she's a nice person. Her name is Tracy, drop in and meet her sometime after next Sunday.

Oooooo-Taayyyy ! I guess that'll do it for now.
Until next time. ....
KEEP SMILING !!!
-Doug-